What If Wellness Needs More Joy?

Revisiting Transform and making room for the things that feel good.

I'm writing this from my porch today. It's 79 degrees, there's a slight breeze, and I've moved my office outdoors. Not a bad way to spend a workday. And it has me thinking about wellness.

In 2021, I published Transform: Building the Mindset to Change Your Body and Your Life, drawing on nearly a decade of experience in health and wellness.

Five years later, I'm wondering if I left something out.

Joy.

And maybe safety, connection, and pleasure, too.

The Feel-Good Stuff

At the end of yoga class, my instructor places a cool towel over us and gently massages our feet.

Oh. My. Goodness.

It's such a simple gesture, but those few minutes of being cared for, with absolutely nothing expected of me, are heavenly. So is a hug from a friend. A good massage. Laughing until your cheeks hurt. Sitting with people who make you feel safe enough to be completely yourself. No filters. No performance. No need to be anything other than who you are.

In Transform, I wrote about serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin, the chemicals associated with feeling good. I knew that movement, laughter, touch, and connection could support our well-being. But I think I was so focused on helping people achieve their health and fitness goals that I overlooked something.

What if joy isn't the reward for doing all the healthy things? What if joy is one of the healthy things?

Who's at Your Table?

We spend a lot of time thinking about what we eat. Calories. Protein. Carbs. Gluten. Sugar. The list goes on. But lately, I've been wondering whether we've spent so much time asking what's on our plate that we've forgotten to ask who's at our table.

Who makes us laugh?

Who helps us relax?

Who can we share a pizza with and enjoy every delicious bite without giving it a second thought?

And no, I'm not suggesting that good company cancels out the calories. Although if someone figures out how to make that happen, please let me know. I'm simply wondering whether the company we keep, the environments we spend time in, and how we feel in those spaces deserve a bigger place in our conversations about health. Because surely feeling safe, seen, and connected matters, too.

And what about joy?

I'm beginning to wonder about something I'm calling The Happy Factor.

We know chronic stress takes a toll on our bodies. Cortisol, our primary stress hormone, helps us respond to stress, but prolonged stress can disrupt our sleep, mood, and overall well-being. And while laughter, connection, and feeling safe won't magically erase life's stressors, they can help us relax, recover, and feel more like ourselves.

Maybe we've been so focused on managing what stresses us out that we've forgotten to make room for what lights us up.

I'm less interested in measuring every little thing these days. I'm more interested in noticing what feels good. And doing more of that. 

A Little More Softness

There's a word that keeps showing up in my life lately. Softness.

After some pretty stressful seasons, I'm learning to give myself more grace. To rest when I need rest. To receive care instead of always being the one giving it. To enjoy things simply because they feel good. And to stop turning everything into a goal, a challenge, or an opportunity for self-improvement.

Sometimes a walk is just a walk.

A hug is just a hug.

And a piece of pizza is just a really good piece of pizza.

The Lori who wrote Transform wanted to share what she'd learned and help people change their lives. Present-day Lori is still learning. But she's less interested in having all the answers and more interested in asking better questions.

What brings us joy?

Where do we feel safe enough to soften?

Who makes us feel most like ourselves?

Maybe wellness isn't just about taking care of our bodies. Maybe it's also about creating lives that feel good to live.

And maybe that's a transformation worth making.