“My belief is that the whole purpose of life is to gain mastery, mastery of our emotions, our finances, our relationships, our consciousness through meditation, things like that. And it’s not about the stuff we achieve or amass in life. All the stuff can be taken away. People lose their fortunes. They lose their reputation. Beautiful spouses can die or leave you. But the mastery you achieve and who you became in the process of achieving those things can never be taken away. Never.”
~ JACK CANFIELD
I”m a big advocate of assessment and evaluation. It’s in my nature to look at a situation or experience and try to draw the good out of it. And maybe not always the good, but the life lesson.
When I self-published my first book, Come Back Strong, I was SUPER excited. Like most new authors, I fully believed I was going to sell hundreds, thousands, even MILLIONS of books.
With the spirit of that belief, I looked at many options to promote and market my book and myself.
Jim and I were going to be in Arizona the first week in April. Our hotel and flights were paid for as part of his winnings as the 2017 Isabody Finalist Runner Up. I found a women’s wellness event in Phoenix that was just days before we were scheduled to be in AZ. I signed up as a vendor, reserved a table to sell my books, and even signed myself up to speak from stage. I was told to expect 15,000 – 18,000 women. Each of them would be focused on wellness. And each woman would be ready to buy.
I invested – not purchased – in myself and had 1,020 books printed and shipped to the Expo. We booked a hotel a few days early and arrived with enthusiasm. And then we waited. And waited.
If we saw 3,000 women across 2 days, that was a lot.
Nobody was buying. They came to my table and asked what I was giving away that was free.
I sold three books.
Three. Not 300, or 30.
And then, I arranged to have them all shipped home.
Anyone want to buy a book?
Why do I tell you all this? And what does it have to do with gaining mastery in your life?
During the two-day Expo and in the weeks and months since then, I have had to learn to master my emotions. I had to learn to master my perspective.
It would have been easy to feel like a failure and look at this whole experience as a loss.
Read that last sentence again and notice my language, specifically “failure” and “loss.”
I had to CHOOSE my perspective and how I looked at this experience. I chose to see this as a great learning experience and an investment in myself.
It wasn’t a loss.
I wasn’t a failure.
I took a risk. I played big. And I learned. A LOT!
Most of all, I learned to master my emotions and choose my perspective.
Remember the next time something in your life happens that threatens to derail you, throw you off balance, or leave you feeling less than:
It’s not about failure and loss. It’s about investment and learning.
I dedicated an entire section to mastering your thoughts and emotions in my #TAPASFORLIFE #masterclass bite-size online course, Balanced Wellness During Menopause. It’s called Thoughts, Words, and Feelings and I give you tools to take every thought captive, change your language, and master your emotions. Check it out at Balanced Wellness During Menopause.
From my blog:
- From Poison Ivy to NYC Photoshoot. The highs and lows of life. Everyone has them.
- Finding Your Balance – Know the Spokes on Your Wellness Wheel
- Serenity From Knowing What We Can and Cannot Change
My course, Balanced Wellness During Menopause is just one of many available that will be available to you at Living Life More Abundantly. Watch for more in 2021 and 2022!
Thank you for sharing this. Valuable lesson.
It’s a powerful one!
Thank you! What a powerful story of staying true to what you want to achieve.
Know who you are, stay with who you are. 🙂
Learning, learning, learning! it’s good to know it continues forever!
Thank you Lori for sharing your perspective on negative emotions and how to change them in positive ways. Great content!
Thanks for sharing this Lori! You are so right. As a self-published author myself, I can TOTALLY RELATE. And this applies to everyone, it can be easy to fall into the traps of the ‘typical failure’ mentality when things don’t go how you hoped. I love how you pointed out it’s all about perspective. We can feel negative that we didn’t sell any books, or we can feel positive that we followed our hearts, actually wrote the books, and put them out there! Talk about being successful!!
Wow Lori… your sharing and vulnerability is inspiring! Go hard or stay home is a great mantra to live when you win big, but no one talks about dealing with the non-win 😉 Thanks for exposing yourself and letting us know how to handle non-wins! Grateful for your words of guidance and acceptability.
I agree that is we gain mastery in our life it opens up to so much more. Looking at things in a positive light and learning from the experiences is key to growing and becoming a better you.
Amen Leanne! An attitude of gratitude for at least having had the opportunity.
I also believe that life lessons are more valuable than selling the product. What a gift to get so much learning from a specific circumstance.
It’s the microwave mentality, I want it NOW… that creates such negativity when something isn’t fulfilled right away. What happened to no pain no gain?